onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. Take full responsibility for your life. Stop blaming others.

2. Do things you like to do. Don’t keep doing things you hate.

3. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts.

4. Be gentle and kind and patient with yourself.

5. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

6. Wear clothes you feel good in.

7. Watch what you say. Don’t put yourself or others down.

8. Take care of your body. Nourish it with exercise and healthy food.

9. Create a life-style that generates and nourishes your self-esteem.

10. Associate with people with healthy self-esteem.

11. Keep a diary of your successes and accomplishments.

12. Don’t compare yourself with others.

13. Remember that it’s who we are, not what we do, that’s important.

14. Give yourself permission to relax and do nothing. Make sure you schedule time for yourself.

15. Invest money in yourself. Go to seminars, workshops and courses that develop your talents.

16. Stop trying to change others. Focus your attention on being the way you want others to be.

17. Stop feeling guilty and saying “I’m sorry”. See mistakes as valuable lessons and avoid judging yourself.

18.Be willing to laugh at yourself, and at life. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

19. Accept compliments from others without embarrassment. Don’t invalidate their positive views of, and feelings about, you.

20. Treat yourself as you would treat someone you really loved. Praise, affirm and respect yourself.

Source: http://christinegreig.com/general/recipe-of-self-love/ (Adapted)

(via psych-facts)

maythefoxbewithyou:

seele-nerv:

maythefoxbewithyou:

Let me tell you some life lessons I have learned in my 24 years on this Earth. 

1. Read the fine print. In every lease agreement, credit card application, and bill. Never take the information in large print as truth. The world is a place full of capitalist greed and people will try to swindle you for every dime you have. 

2. A credit card very rarely makes things better. While suddenly having a couple thousand dollars to spend might sound amazing, keep in mind the fact that you’re going to have to pay that back and then some. Never get a card with an annual fee if you can avoid it- because even if you don’t use it, it’ll still cost you.

3. Set up automatic payments. You will forget payments, and that can cost you (literally) a great deal. Set up automatic online payments with reminders so that you know it’s coming up, but don’t have to worry about it. 

4. In-Store credit cards are almost always terrible. Sears, Home Depot, Victoria’s Secret- all of them. They are usually packaged with fun deals like “get $50 off this purchase if you’re pre-approved!”. They fail to mention the 25% interest rate, annual fees, and the fact that it can only be used in that store. 

5. Keep your receipts. Seriously! Just keep a folder in your car and one in your house and drop every receipt you get in them.  At the end of the month dump them out and go through them. You’ll be amazed at what your spending looks like when it’s splayed out in front of you.  It makes budgeting much easier when you see real numbers. These can also come in handy around tax time- you would be surprised at the things you can write off in certain situations.

6. Learn about income tax. Visit the IRS website and educate yourself! It sounds boring (and it freakin’ is) but in no way does high school prepare you for or teach you about taxes well enough to hold your own in the real world. 

7. Claim as little as possible on your W4. When you start a new job, they always give you a W4 to fill out for tax information.  On line 5 of the form, it’ll ask how many allowances you want to claim. Now, claiming yourself may seem like a good idea because you get to keep more money on your paycheck- but it can also come back to bite you at the end of the year.  You may even end up paying in! On that same note, make sure your employer files your tax information correctly. I once ended up paying in $8,000 in taxes because my employer never had the IRS take taxes out of my checks! Whoops!

8. Start a savings fund. No matter how small it is! Even if you just put away $2 a week- it will eventually add up.  If you can, start a savings account that will earn you interest. 

9. Save your paystubs! If you plan to buy a car or rent an apartment, they’re going to want to see them.

10. Write down the start and end dates of every job you have. Making a resume and filling out job applications will be much easier with this information.

11. Make a good resume and keep printed copies as well as a digital copy at all times.  There are many excellent resume writing resources online that can help you (heck, I can help you- I used to work in HR!) buff up your resume.  You never know when you might meet someone who can present you with an opportunity! 

12. Never be afraid to ask for a raise or promotion.  If you are performing well and meeting or exceeding expectations- ask your supervisor for a raise or change of position that will pay more.  If you are aiming for a promotion, stroke the company’s ego, say something like “I would like the opportunity to prove my worth to the company and further my career with (         ).”

13. Debt collectors do not give up. They are a lot like the Terminator.  If you block their numbers or ignore their calls, they’ll find your family members or show up at your house. This is no joke. I have had hospital bill collectors call roommates, my parents, and even my dad once.  They are relentless and they do not care about your current situation or financial stability. They follow a script and expect you to pay up.  It’s hard not to panic when you get that first collections call- you definitely don’t feel in control of the situation. But remember, debt collectors are actually bound by many restrictions- they are barred from: 

-Using abusive or obscene language. -Harassing you with repeated calls.-Calling before 8 a.m. or after 9 p.m. unless you agree. -Calling you at work if you have asked them to stop. -Talking to anyone but you or your attorney about the debt. -Misrepresenting the amount of your debt. -Falsely claiming to be an attorney or a law enforcement official. -Falsely claiming to be a credit bureau representative. -Threatening to sue unless they actually plan to take legal action. -Threatening to garnish wages or seize property unless they actually intend to do it.

Always ask for written information on the debt- tell them to send you a paper statement of the debt so that you can look it over and decide what to do. Offer to make payments that are within your financial means- if they try to bully you into making larger ones, tell them you are well aware that they’ve looked into your finances and should know what you are able to afford.

14. Get renters insurance. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it! 

15. Take inventory of the things you own. If you own electronics, guns, or other expensive items, write down the serial numbers and take pictures of them in your house. That way, if there’s a break in, fire, or flash flood, you have documentation and data to provide to your insurance company. 

I’ll add more as I think of them, but here’s a start. It’ll be tagged under “successfully adulting”.

EDIT: Here’s a link to the google drive document version of this. It will be updated periodically! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Q_YnP3euuJcfjpQY7wuE1JmB_5e60ebZFsfW5f0MtGM/edit?usp=sharing
This document also includes a resources section with links to help you get started in many areas of adult life!

mostly helpful for americans only but still worth a read.

I actually just added a section on the google drive document with links for Canadian and UK residents :)

(via theairclub)

ginandjack:

lukexvx:

dagwolf:

preeoz:

ON GOVERNMENT LOANS: 

Things have changed.

When you call your loan servicer, they  won’t treat you like shit anymore. They won’t threaten you or harass you or insist you pay half your paycheck to get out of default. Here is what I’ve experienced while dealing with defaulted government loans. 

1.  Find out who owns all your debts right now. It may be early enough that your most recent loan servicer could still be the owner. If it’s been over a few months, or years, it will be a collections agency or several agencies. Check your snail mail. Their policies usually dictate that they send paper mail. Once you find the collections agency, ask for “proof of debt.” By law, they must provide you proof that they own your debts so they can’t scam you.

2. Once you establish that this agency owns your debt, tell them that you can’t afford much but would like to “rehabilitate your loans.” This means you will make a payment for 9 consecutive months. The agency, by law, must use a government formula to figure out how much you pay each month. If you make around 40K, you will be asked to pay somewhere around $100-150/month. If you are unemployed, you can rehab for as little as $5 a month. Ask them to autodebit so you don’t accidentally miss a payment. If you miss one, your 9 months starts over. 

3. Once you finish your 9 months, call the collections agency to make sure they won’t autodebit anymore. They will hand your debt back over to the loan servicer you worked with before they got the loan. Most likely, you have Great Lakes, Nelnet, Navient (formerly known as Sallie Mae), or one of these loan servicers. Then go to this studentloans.gov website and make an FSA ID and PW. 

4. Begin a consolidation through the student loans website. The consolidation form will ask you to write in every loan. It might be on the website already, but check this NSLDS.gov site to be sure. This website has an up-to-date account of all your outstanding loans. Consolidating is a tedious and boring process. Make sure you have a few hours free to do this. 

5. When you consolidate, the form requires you to fill out a payment plan. You want an IBR plan, or Income Based Repayment Plan. This plan will allow you to make minimal payments according to your income for 20-25 years. Then, the government will forgive your loan. Consider it 25-year mortgage for your college education. Also, the IBR will re-evaluate your income every year in order to adjust the monthly payment. If you lose your job, your monthly payment will reduce dramatically, and if you find a better paying job, you may have to pay a bit more. 

6. Also while consolidating, you must choose which loan servicers you’d like to work with. I work with Nelnet. Nelnet was difficult to work with for years, like not allowing you to email in documents–only mail or fax. You can email scanned documents to them now. Remember, you can download free scanning apps to use with your smartphone camera. Remember to keep a log of every time you call, whom you talked to, and what you talked about. This is an important lesson I learned while calling companies for my immigrant parents. Anyway, because of government regulation, they are actually nice to you and available 24/7.They can’t pull their bullshit anymore because they use government calculations. I’m sure it’s the same with all the other loan servicers. As I said before, I work with Nelnet, but it really doesn’t matter which one you choose. 

7. When you finish with consolidation, wait a few days and call your loan servicer. Ask them if they’ve received the request for consolidation. Then, check in with them every week for the next six weeks to hear the status of the consolidation. They are not good about emailing you updates, i.e. never. I did my consolidation wrong the first time, and they just rejected it and never notified me. I found out when I made my weekly Monday night call. Had to fill out the damn form all over again. It’s finally been accepted. 

8. They will then set up you up with an IBR plan. Your payments will most likely be the same as what you payed the collection agency because they’re using the same government calculator. Autodebit those payments. 

This is all I know so far. This is far better than defaulting and having the government garnish your wages. And once you begin the IBR plan, there is an end in sight!

—

ON PRIVATE LOANS: 

I don’t know much about these, but I know private is much harder to deal with. 

1. It’s not great to default with these loans either. Defaulting and declaring bankruptcy does NOT absolve you from the loan. Your wages can still be garnished if the collections agency sues you and wins. 

2. If you make regular payments, the loan servicer will not settle your debt with you. Because they’d rather have your interest payments. If you default in order to settle with the collections agency who buys your debt, you’d better have enough cash to pay them off in one lump sum. They will bargain with you to get you to pay between 50-60% of your loan. If you own 100K, do you have 60K in disposable income? If so, you shouldn’t ruin your credit!  

3. You can now refinance your loans! Due to new legislation (I think it’s Elizabeth Warren’s doing), you are allowed to consolidate all your private loans under one bank and get a lower, fixed interest rate. I’m willing to bet your interest rates are at 8% or higher. You can consolidate all these to under 5%, or even as low as 2%–the better your credit, the better your rate. I would consider perhaps working with the credit unions instead of a bank.

—

I hope this helps you. If you have any questions, please send me a message and I’ll do my best to help you figure it out.

thanks, Praise. 

We’re most of us working people with little to no extra income. Purposefully defaulting on your loans only works if you can settle. Don’t listen to bourgeois debtors praising purposeful default as some sort of useful and progressive direct action. You will end up with garnished wages. The stories Praise and I hear are always the same. 

It doesn’t make you less radical or something to fill out this shit paperwork and receive a long term IBR plan. The payments for us are low. We’ll never pay off the majority of our loans before they’re forgiven. I don’t do it because of some ridiculous principle. I do it because it’s better than having my wages garnished.

If you need further help, I know Praise will answer your asks. She’s kind of become an expert on this process. Send her a message. She’s super cool.

Timely

Also of note, once you’re on an IBRplan, you will need to re-file that paperwork every year to stay on that plan or start paying your loans back in full, so keep up with filing your taxes and doing your paperwork!

(via justsomeantifas)

lettersfromtitan:

wiredonwarid:

pulitzer-prince:

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. Hold your head high, and look others in the eye

2. Smile

3. Stop apologizing

4. Relax and be quick to laugh at yourself (but not at others!)

5. Dress in a way that indicates you have self worth

6. Use good manners (like saying please and thank you) as this is actually a mark of self respect

7. Expect other people to believe in you, and to see and appreciate your good qualities.

8. Before you know it, its no longer fake

wheRE WAS THIS ALL MY LIFE

How to do this if some of these things are hard for you:

1. You don’t have to make eye contact.  General eye area or looking at the mouth (which I have to do to understand people sometimes) will work fine.

2. It okay if you don’t want to show your teeth.

3. Yeah you have to do this one.

4. Lean forward if you want to seem eager, lean back if you want to seem relaxed or in control.  Not too far back or else you’ll seem like an asshole (which has its place) or you’ll flip your chair over (which doesn’t).

5. There is no one standard for this.  Dress appropriately to the occasion.  When in doubt go for “I’m running into my ex and I want to look great but not like I tried.”

6. Look, self-respect is important, but it can be hard to achieve.  If you can’t do this or some of these other things yet, it doesn’t mean you don’t have self-respect, it just means you’ve had some difficult experiences, or need practice, or has a brain that works differently. Please and thank you are scripts you can learn, and it’s okay if they just feel like scripts right now.

7. Yes.  Find whatever mantra you need internally to remember this.  It is okay if it’s weird or feels like you’re having to remind yourself of really basic stuff (I have to do “I am a person” sometimes.)  It’s okay to start at the beginning.  It is okay to be a beginner.

8. Yes.

(via psych-facts)